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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Crumbling World

My world as much I have is crumbling down to bits & pieces. The relationships are just antiques. I am useless to the socially active community. No light falls upon my ugly state of affairs. The ignored leakages will drip me to plague. I was never dutiful, and never experienced bountiful. All the loneliness that I've ever experienced, has summed up before my eyes, swallowing me whole. Maybe some fears are worse than death can ever be. Death will take us away, while fears torment us profuse.

You went away without a reason, in-fact were never near, I realize now. It was just my wishful thinking that you'd be mine, you were never a chance in the real world. I don't know how much time has passed since you ceased to exist. Now, there's nothing of you and nothing else left for me. I threw away your presence, whilst day-dreaming I'm in Love. If only I could live with you once.

The undead chest still breathes, the slack muscles would pack a punch. My pain says I'm alive. Fears give me a cause to run. The Satan Bull is raging towards me, perhaps my survival is dismal. If somehow I could getaway from, still have to survive with a neurotic brain. Starting my journey thusly now, I spearhead through unknown territories, only to land one-piece on a place, that would somehow be called, Life.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Soaring Higher

01:30a.m., 27th Oct 2011, I wake-up half-ok with a hint of acidity in my chest, a dash of short breath in my lungs, I help myself with the icy cold water from earthenware red pot, ummm Yes it does feel good, only later does the acid attack becomes more acute, with HCl burning the way up my esophagus. All this against the backdrop of a late Diwali night, God am I a diseased mortal, ready to embark on a journey leading me to really Soar Higher...

The colorful frantic lights, some here some there, a few with whistles, some with bangs, an occasional thud, all goes on & on, onstage the tinted black screen behind me, a little dose is good, but soon lights disappear and booms & bangs fill-up the scene, I try to be polite & understanding about the fact that it's Diwali, #@~^this acidity will burn me up today #@~^ but still the high noise guys, seriously it's NOISE POLLUTION, for God's sake it's 02:01a.m. While I'm at this, you people are
pulling off few occasional bitchy ones, some crackling sparkles & a rare Big-Bang, fine go ahead and burn the fun, if that's your way to be content.

As they say, one thing leads to another a man standing right there, checking up on my work of lighting up the home with electric lamps, oil-lamps, correctional lantern, #@~^knock, knock Acidity ? #@~^ the electrician put in the lantern at the hour, who by the way works independently, freelancer I must say, was pressed into service for few odd-jobs, two to be precise by the established
electrician in my area, who never takes up a service-call seriously(#personal experience) what to do ? where am I? what ? where are the crackers, noises, thuds & bangs? still there....shucks!

So, where was I, I was traveling inside a deep train of thoughts on a dense track of concentration completely unaware of disturbing surroundings, well concentration of mind is a virtue I guess #@~^ seems subsided #@~^ Some disturbing thoughts, well no worries, will take care of them. A concentrated mind does a wonderful job, even when surrounded by complete chaos.

As I rose, half-dead today, may I rise as does emerge a Phoenix from its Ashes, completely burnt by own Karma, but born again with the same heart of gold. The sins, the mess, working crass and living depress, sometimes I feel to give it up all, Oh God, and by working my way up like an Eagle hovers above this world, I shall cover everything under the wing-span of my experience, #@~^shit keeps coming back#@~^ and thus once and for all, may I with your blessings My Lord, Soar Higher.

Friday, October 14, 2011

India Today 2011

>>>दोस्तों मौजूदा हालातों पे कुछ टिप्पणी कर रहा हूँ, ज़रा गौर फ़र्माईयेगा, अगर पसन्द आजाये तो comments से नवाज़ियेगा और sharing से फ़ैलाईयेगा  ।<<<

  • इन दिनो चाहे आपका नाम बड़ा हो ना हो, पेह्चान ऊपर तक होनी चाहिये।

  • स्कूल में पढ़ाई चाहे जितनी भी की हो, काँलेज के लिये लाखों रुप्यों का donation तैयार रेह्ना चाहिये।

  • आपका दोस्त नया हो या पुराना, हर हाँलिडे पे उसे लम्बा चौड़ा SMS ज़रूर पहुँच जाना चाहिये।

  • Girlfriend भोली हो याँ चालू, chocolate का डब्बा हर संन्डे को देना।

  • पानी आपके घर आये ना आये, water-tax का बिल ज़रूर आयेगा।

  • Computer, T.V., Fridge चाहे जो लेलो बिजली कटौती के आगे सब बेकार।

  • हमें आँफ़िस से छुट्टी हो ना हो, कामवाली बाई को regular holiday चाहिये।

  • घर बड़ा हो या छोटा माँ-बाप की ज़िम्मेदारी बोझ लगने लगती है।

  • ' अतिथी देवो भवः ' भुलाकर, नया नारा है ' अनचाहे मनुष्य का प्रवेश निषेद है  '।

  • समाज में हो दंगे या कहीं लगजाये आग, हर कोई सुनाता है बस अपना ही राग।

  • दरवाज़ा हो या music-system, पड़ोसी को सताने के लिये हर रोज़ जोर-जोर से बजायेंगे।

  • चाहे हो कोई गली, मोहल्ला या अपार्टमेंट, कूडा-कर्कट तो रास्ते पर ही आयेगा।

  • चला रहे हों साईकल, मोटर-बाईक या कार, लाट-साहब का एक हाथ mobile पर ही रह्ता है।

  • नौकरी हो स्कूल, दफ़्तर यां फ़िर किसी फ़ैक्ट्री में, गंदी office-politics शरीफ़ इन्सान को डंस ही लेती है।

  • धर्म और फ़र्ज़ का तो ठिकाना नहीं, अपना हक़्क माँगने सब पहुँच जाते हैं।

  • पैसे से बहुत कुछ मिलता है सब कुछ नहीं, मगर पैसों की लालच में इन्सान कुछ भी कर सकता है।

  • छोटी बात, मुश्किल बात, या गैर ज़रूरी बात सभी लोग कल करेंगे, वो 'कल' कभी न आया और न आयेगा।

  • चोरी, बलात्कार, घाव और कत्ल जिनपे बीती उन्होंने जानी, बाकी सबने तो बस कहानी मानी।

  • वक्त की मांग विश्व-शांति, लोगों की जान sheila aunty।

  • शरीफ़ को डर, सज्जन को लाज, बच्चों को डाँट, जानवर को मार, अपाहिच को शर्म और, कमीनों को अईयाशी; हे भगवान कैसे तूने ये अनोखी जोड़ियां बनायी।

  • प्रेम-सबंधं अथ्वा विवाह हो ना हो, sex-partner ज़रुर चाहिये।

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Perfection Exists! ?

        When we err and fail, people try to cheer us up by saying "Nobody is perfect, better try again", and when we tend to be lazy we get to hear "Practice makes Man perfect, get up and work". Does it mean that, perfection can't be achieved? and that we always work tending to be perfect, while never really achieving it ? Have you ever thought about Perfection, whether it really exists or not ?

        In my view, a thing, a place or a person may not be perfect in itself, but their togetherness or a certain combination or a harmony in which they work or are related can be perfect. For example, meeting a celebrity on your birthday, winning a lottery on an auspicious day, running into an old friend just before your engagement, etc. are all instances when we say, "we were lucky", meaning somehow situations were perfect as a whole and not necessarily each thing in its own might.

        When we have a good holiday with family it's a perfect getaway, when a couple suit each other in personality and character they are termed as a perfect couple, scoring full marks in your favorite subject is a perfect treat, etc. all such things are called perfect because we couldn't ask for more in each of these scenarios.

        Thus, perfection can't be searched in individuals or in pieces of steel or glass for that matter, it has to be observed and felt in the synergy of things, which is the real beauty of it.

        In the spiritual sense, think about the joys and sorrows, sunny and rainy days, ups and downs, dusk and dawn, etc. you just can't pick out a single thing and go on scrutinizing it for its value or its characteristics, it's their presence together which makes them worth and meaningful. Think about the planet earth, cold mountains, huge rivers, dense forests, endangered wild animals, We Selfish Humans, etc. are useless alone but, with everything synergizing together as humans, flora and fauna, seasons, etc. earth is a perfect place to be. We have to just recognize the underlying patterns, then we surely would be marveled and start believing in perfection on a scale larger than life.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

In this World...

When I feel powerless, I look up to God

When I feel lonely, I yearn for friends' company

When I'm hurt, I seek my inner consoling self

When I need love, I call my Jaan

When I want to travel, Lord sends opportunity

When I'm hungry, refrigerator is not so far

When I'm lost, I trust my instincts

When I'm tired, I take the day off

When I'm happy, SMSes are forwarded to all

When I'm in a dilemma, my heart takes the charge

 When I fall ill, my family absorbs the shock and rejuvenates me above the usual par

In this world, I have truly got it all.

Friday, June 17, 2011

i Care about You

Dear Jaan, I may seem possessive and jealous at times, but that’s only because I’m concerned about you. I may even prevent you outright from doing something, no I don’t own you; I’m worried of unforeseen consequences. We do have heated arguments, but I don’t want to prove any superiority there. Misunderstandings are common and we must understand that. You are all that I need in this world, believe me.

My erratic behavior is habitual and I’m sorry for that, Thanks a lot you never left my side as all those years went by. We spend hours around each other, without speaking much, but no; our relationship is not hollow, the mind sometimes just shuts down. I have loved and cared for you in my own numerous ways. If I’m not up to the mark for you, just give me another chance and let me make it happen. We are not holding onto our relationship unwillingly as it may occur to you, in fact the depth of our Love has held us together in all sorts of situations that we’ve seen. Our growing distance may even make you think that I don’t love you anymore; but believe you me, I do Care about you and that’s not only because you are my responsibility, but also because You are my Life. Love you

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Little Good Thing

     We Humans are not perfect in any sense, though mentally most evolved of all animals. We live in social groups, eat, love, roam, enjoy and lie. Yes, we also have a set of our own negative traits. Everyone of us has one or more of these hidden wrong-doings, it can be anything like lying, procrastinating, laziness, jealousy, rudeness, etc, the list is too long.

     The strange thing is that, many of us are aware of the negative thing we carry inside us, which has become an integral part of our character and we still continue to live with it. Some people don’t even try to get rid of it, some attempt with futility, end result is that most of the stuff is stuck with us anyways.

     But, I believe most of us balance it off, if not getting completely rid of it. What I mean is, deep inside our mind while we acknowledge the negativity associated with us, we also have Atleast One if not more, ‘Little Good Thing’, inside of us. It may be a good habit, a prayer, feeding birds, or any compensation of sorts, towards the negativity we produce around us. That ‘Little Good Thing’ assures our soul, of some good deeds we are doing for the people around us, towards this world as a whole, dedicating it to The Almighty who gave us this Human Life. We keep doing this ‘Little Good Thing’ in all the times of our life, good or bad, thick or thin, leisurely or tense; we always find time to do it. This is what balances our Act in this World.

     So, what is your ‘Little Good Thing’ ?

Thursday, March 24, 2011

A Tell-All Tale

A few years ago, when I had just ventured into the world of blogging completely unaware of its characteristics and the kind of work & dedication it requires, I tried to get a hang of it by joining various Orkut Communities meant for Bloggers – Established as well as the ones aspiring To Be. I participated in various polls, few discussions and answered random questions put up by fellow members from the community. Though I later realized that being an active member of other Blog related forums was also necessary, which pays off in some or the other way, I got into other forums very recently.

Anyways, in the communities, a guy raised a question, which was open for discussion to all, “Would you write ‘A Tell-All Tale’ about your own Life, without twisting any facts and hiding any information?” Very few people replied to it, I was one of them. Somebody replied “yes, it’s possible we can do that”, someone said “yes, with a few omissions”, another fellow: “not at all possible, there are a lot of things we can’t say in public, never”, I posted my views: “yes, by mustering up some courage and putting up a brave face against haunts from the past, we can pen down ‘a tell-all tale’ and publish it”. I never again visited that discussion thread, it got lost among others; don’t have a slightest idea, what other replies it might have got.

And now, when I think of that question it makes me ponder over all the stuff I have done in all the years growing up to be what I am now, since I gained a conscious mind, the summary of all the events on a fading but existing timeline floats before my eyes. It allows me to pick-up each event and judge myself on a case-by-case basis, though many of you would say don’t be stuck in the past, let bygones be bygones, etc, but we must keep in mind that Introspection is done over the Past Us as well as the Present Us and never on a Future Us.

I do find myself guilty on many occasions, ranging from when I was a child up to a moment in time few hours ago, this goes to say that if not impossible then it definitely is very very hard to come up with ‘a Tell-All tale’ about our own lives. All this churning of yesterday’s milk does give an off-putting odour, nonetheless it also has many Pearls of great moments spread out in it that we have earned over all these years. I would like to say that we can Atleast from now on, today come up with a Good Clean Slate to write a better, bigger and cleaner LifeStory onto it, lets correct whatever we can, even if it means only a couple of years in future as against to the decades we have let go just like that in mistakes and laziness.

Best Wishes. God Bless.

P.S. Do Support Earth Hour on Saturday 26th March, 2011, from 8:30pm to 9:30pm local time, by putting off unnecessary lights and appliances, and leaving On just the lights that are utterly essential. Resolve to use all the resources cautiously in a prudent manner henceforth.

Long Live Mother Earth.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

The Answer

You spend years of your life after fallout, searching for a definite purpose, a real Goal, the thing that your mind can digest as ‘The Answer’. The thing that you would strive for, which compels you to burn the midnight oil, it’s a process of self-torture but you go through it, because it gives a meaning to your life.

You eat tons, enjoy insomnia, ogle at TV screen for hours, pointless social networking for days at a stretch, repeated boring masterminding in bathroom, still none of it yields close to a thought, let alone an epiphany. An outing is planned you muster up enthusiasm, scratch your rear, enjoy long drives, burp indecently, come home after days of wandering, yet no output.

The mind has its own thousands of internal thought processes, and when you aren’t even expecting it, the complex Brain of yours spits an idea with a Fiery Spark, which you were waiting for, this thing alone constitutes all & whole of, ‘The Answer’.

You review it in excitement, and when it stands out to be True & Practical you are further amazed, yes The Mind Answered. This is what I was talking about in “The Within (my previous post)”, now you have got the Fireball in your hands, everything is up to you. Do, die, use, misuse, waste it, taste it, or whatever is freaking possible, you can go ahead & do with it; it’s a Master Key that you now hold.

For quite a while now, you have whined & waited, cried & scratched, yelled & punched, but now you have ‘The Answer’, ask yourself or rather the ‘Question’ itself questions you, “What you Gonna do ?”

Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Within

The Within is given to us the moment we are born, a Life is bestowed upon us. We breathe free, grow up, enjoy our childhood, have our share of experiences, go through nitty-gritties of this world and all that living daylight & silent night has to offer we consume.

But with the passage of time, it’s possible that our family gets disbanded and we have no father-figure to live under the guidance of, whether inside or outside of the extended family even. Friends may have their own share of issues and may be too busy in dealing with them, so much so that even a phone call may seem a distant possibility. The Love of our Life if at all we’ve got one, may seem to be emotionally distant for any of the myriad reasons, not having one creates a vacuum, which we wander in, until we find a suitable someone.

Suddenly we go blank and forget why and towards what, are we working?, What is our goal & the purpose behind it ? There may be no sign of inspiration or motivation at all. The Life we have so far lived may seem to be a castle in the air, and then everything would be nothing but a great illusion, a big mistake. The atmosphere is nothing fit to live in, only mind-state that we’ve got is of desperation, only thing we want to do is punch something, only thing we actually do is breath fire and only feeling left with us is self-disgust. The agony of being in this state with the icing of physical pain is the reinforcement that we are alive, Atleast.

All this can happen in a real actual human life on this earth! Then what? Would you continue to live like this? No! What to do then? How to deal with it? What or Who went wrong? How to correct it? How to live a Life even better than we ever had? All the answers lie Within Us. The Seed of Continuum of Life, the Potential to Change, the Energy to carry out all that is Possible is inside us, The WITHIN.

Shake yourself up, then feel & locate the Within. The Within wakes up to check if it is sound on a physical level, feeds the body, diverts the mind, enjoys a sleep. The next time you get up it searches for a reason to live, the reason is Self-Preservation. Yes! Live for yourself; thank the Universe for this Human Life that you’ve got.

Approach your family, break the ice, ask for guidance, pay heed to it, share the love, and make yourself a sincere part of your family. Remember this, your family always Loves You. No matter, if their suggestions don’t match or go entirely against your wishes, Trust them, they really want you to lead a Happy, Problem-free Life. They are elders, they have a foresight, they can decide better things, so listen to them for your own good.

Realize that life can be beautiful. Enjoy the world, establish a Grand Target, and achieve it in steps, by completing Mini-Goals if you will. The sweat on thy brow invites GoodLuck.  You can win back your Lover, by hard-work, dedication, sincerity towards your duties & job, and last but not the least Love, Care & Respect for your Beloved.

A balanced man has good friends, reconnect with yours, send an sms, be bold enough to call a long lost friend, arrange for a meeting, pour your heart out, cherish the bond. In this ruthless world, friends, family and lover help us to be & remain hopeful, throughout the continuous struggle that we go through. They watch our back when we are vulnerable and mean people get to us, thus the kith and kin play a vital role in our trying times. Also the Joy of Sharing can’t be experienced without them existing in our lives, just imagine what’s the use of a Great Good News when you have no Lover or Folks to share it with? Even if you don’t get a friend, befriend yourself, care for your Oldest and Best Friend – The Within.

May you achieve a perfect Harmony in your Life among Love, Work & Fun. God Bless You All.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Code Red

There is this thing, person, event, possibility, opportunity or outcome that you need, want or desire and wish to meet, acquire or see it happen. When nothing happens, it ditches you, refuses to take place or simply stands still faraway looking at your face heartlessly, you don't like it.

It is snatched, forbidden, stopped, forsaken or debarred to you, from you, for you or generally disallowed and you can't help it. It can be God, nature, another human being, one's laziness or your own Karma that has let you down, you don't like it.

I say, you fill yourself with Energy, hop on the Horse of Confidence, pull the Sword of Strength out of the dusty Scabbard and cut through the throat of all the difficulties in front of you. If it isn't possible run them over with your Beast of a Horse. And lastly, if the nemesis stands faraway mocking at you, pull out the Gun of Foresight Foolproof Future Planning, and hit it in the Eye. Remember, Rage is your only Ally, declare Code Red all over, terminate everything in your way, make a Hell Sweep on Earth.

Get to the thing of yours, claim it, hold it, love it, cherish it forever. Damn everything else, Go Conquer. Best Wishes.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

is this my Life ?

This Life, I am living, don't feel any connection with it whatsoever, clearly indicating I don't belong here, this is not my life. I seem to be put in somebody else's body and thus Life. As if one fine day, I must have slept over when this swap occurred and here I am dealing with his situations, no use putting me here, I am a sheer waste of the human body.

Family: This guy's family is loving, caring and cool. The mistakes I'm committing here don't even ask, perhaps you wouldn't even want to hear, if I started speaking about them. Inside their minds they may loathe me, or may be not, but on the outer level they never confront me, all my transgressions go unseen and I'm allowed to live as it is, so much compassion and forgiveness, lucky guy he must be, to have been born to these parents.

Lover: As if the mystery of her invisible presence wasn't enough, her On/Off love-hate relation with me is an added bomb to the rugged love-life this guy must be having with her. She's so loving and adorable at one time, and a microwave oven the next instant, comprehensively grilling me, whether its a peccadillo or a blunder that I've committed. She's cute, beautiful and a wonderful person, but hard to be kept happy by a disgust like me.

Friends: The guy must be a clown himself, he's got a friend of each kind funny, serious, neutral, emotional, dutiful you name it he has it. Each one of them has got his own set of problems, still they gather over a cup of tea and dish out advice to every other friend in the group. I don't know what was his equation with these guys, but I just pray, God help him and his friends, may they be at peace.

World : The world is going on as always with its bustling nature, energy flow from here to there and vice versa. The Sun God shining brightly, birds flying free as they wish, people engaging in enjoyable activities, the daily cycle of day & night changing colours, etc. All this except the fact that none of this is affecting me, as if there was an impermeable plastic between me and this world. This makes it quite obvious that I'm not meant to be living this life.

Is this a bad dream ?, it would mean I'm still asleep and seeing my own life where everything is good, but me. Or is it that, I am put through this ordeal only to mend my ways?, and that I would be put back into my life only when I change for good, or worse thing I will have to keep up with this act till I die, as a compensation for a lousy past, I had back there in my own life.

what do You say ?...