Dear Jaan(missing you),
I would define those times as happy when you and me were overlooking each others' faults, going out of our way to please each other, neglecting personal stuff, ignoring other people (even family and friends), those times last for a short period. But when we had it, the honey of love was spread to every second of the day, your talk was always kind and your words caressed my mind.
We have even seen those times, when everything good vanishes, nothing sweet or nice remains, we don't even remain lovers, we hate each other so much that, our ego falls short of insults to hurl at each other, I don't know how does it happen or why? But yes we have had our many loveless days full of grudges and a mind full of hate-froth covering the true Love that we long back found in each other.
In good and bad times both, I always felt "this is going to stay and won't change now", but it always changed, the Whites turned Black and subsequently Blacks faded to Whites.For years now, I have seen this cycle in our love-life, perhaps its a balance for us to live together forever, to love each other even knowing each others' mistakes, shortcomings, faults and our dirty attitude when we fight.
But I want you to know that when we fight, I abuse you, hate you, even then I never wish something bad happens to you, I never ask God to punish you, I may make you feel miserable on phone, but I will never let anything or anyone trouble you, I can't bear that, its strange but, believe me its true.
In good times, when you lie beside me, burying your face over my heart, I fear that this love, this feeling of inner fullness and outer completeness, the state of being one with you, won't stay and it does fade out and we have arguments and quarrels but, when they too pass away, we again fall into each others' arms and in the Lap of Love we lay.
Just to remind you, I Love You Jaan.